Sexual Abuse

Not all cases of sexual abuse involve violence, cause physical injury or leave visible marks. Sexual abuse can cause severe distress, emotional harm and injuries which can't be seen – all of which can take a long time to recover from. This is why we use the terms ‘violence’ and 'abuse', and treat disclosures and experiences just as seriously.

You may be in a sexually abusive relationship if your partner:

• Accuses you of cheating or is often jealous of your outside relationships.
  
  
• Wants you to dress in a sexual way.
  
  
• Insults you in sexual ways or calls you sexual names.
  
  
• Has ever forced or manipulated you into having sex or performing sexual acts.
  
  
• Holds you down during sex.
  
  
• Demands sex when you are sick, tired or after beating you.
  
  
• Hurts you with weapons or objects during sex.
  
  
• Involves other people in sexual activities with you.
  
  
• Ignores your feelings regarding sex.

Everyone responds differently to sexual abuse – so whatever someone feels is a valid response. But, for lots of people, it can have a long-lasting impact on their feelings and wellbeing.

If you have experienced physical abuse of any kind – whether it was recently or a long time ago – HERSANA is here for you. We will listen to you, believe you and create a safe space for you

We know that it can be hard to approach the topic of abuse with a friend, colleague or family member. It’s important to remember that they may not want to speak to you, or may even react badly to you trying to discuss the situation with them. They also may not recognise what they’re going through as abuse, even if you are sure it is. They may try to play it down or they could defend their partner’s actions. All of these reactions are common from victims of abuse, so whatever you do, make sure to accept your friend, family member or colleague’s reaction and don’t pressure them into talking. Although you may be tempted to try and encourage them to speak or seek professional support, you may have to accept that they are not ready for that step.

If they are ready to talk and confide in you, it’s a good idea to be able to signpost to organisations that can offer professional support as well as offering a listening ear yourself, if you can.

For Black femmes experiencing any form of domestic abuse, including sexual abuse, we can offer free and confidential help and advice.