Coercive Control

Some common examples of coercive behaviour are:

• Isolating you from friends and family
  
  
• Depriving you of basic needs, such as food
  
  
• Monitoring your time
  
  
• Monitoring you via online communication tools or spyware
  
  
• Taking control over aspects of your everyday life, such as where you can go, who you can see, what you can wear and when you can sleep
  
  
• Depriving you access to support services, such as medical services
  
  
• Repeatedly putting you down, such as saying you’re worthless
  
  
• Humiliating, degrading or dehumanising you
  
  
• Controlling your finances
  
  
• Making threats or intimidating you

The legal definition of coercive control in England and Wales is when a person with whom you are personally connected, repeatedly behaves in a way which makes you feel controlled, dependent, isolated or scared.

Your abuser will be guilty of the offence of coercive control if

• they are personally connected to you, and
  
  
• their behaviour has had a serious effect on you, and
  
  
• your abuser knew or ought to have known that their behaviour would have a serious effect on you.

The offence of coercive control came into force on 29th December 2015. It only applies to behaviour that happened after 29th December 2015.

If your abuser started the abuse before 29th December 2015 and the behaviour continued after that date then he could be charged for the behaviour after 29th December 2015. He cannot be charged for the behaviour before 29th December 2015, but it can be helpful in showing his bad character and it can support the case against him.

Your abuser’s behaviour is considered to have a serious effect on you if:

• on at least two occasions you have feared that violence will be used against you, or
  
  
• you have felt serious alarm or distress and it has had a substantial effect on your usual day to day activities. The behaviour has had a substantial effect on you if it has caused you to change the way you live. For example, you may have changed the way you socialise, your physical or mental health may have deteriorated, you may have changed the way you do household chores or how you care for your children. If you have changed the way you live in order to keep you or your children safe from harm, it is possible that the behaviour you are experiencing is coercive control.

Only someone who is personally connected to you can commit an offence of coercive control. You are personally connected to your abuser if you are in an intimate personal relationship with them, for example if they are your partner, spouse or someone who you have a romantic or sexual relationship with. This includes same-sex relationships. If you are

no longer in an intimate relationship with your abuser, but you still live together, then you are still personally connected to them and the offence of coercive control may apply.

You are also personally connected to your abuser if they are family member who you live with. A family member could be anyone you are related to or have a child with, or any person who you have ever entered into or agreed to enter into a marriage or civil partnership with. A family member can also be a person who your spouse is related to and that you live with, for example, your partner’s parents who you live with.

If you are not personally connected to your abuser because they are for example a colleague, a neighbour, an acquaintance or someone you don’t know, you may still be able to seek protection from the abuse under the Protection from Harassment Act 1997

Everyone responds differently to coercive control and abuse – so whatever someone feels is a valid response. But, for lots of people, it can have a long-lasting impact on their feelings and wellbeing.

If you have experienced coercive control and domestic abuse of any kind – whether it was recently or a long time ago – HERSANA is here for you. We will listen to you, believe you and create a safe space for you.

We know that it can be hard to approach the topic of abuse with a friend, colleague or family member. It’s important to remember that they may not want to speak to you, or may even react badly to you trying to discuss the situation with them. They also may not recognise what they’re going through as abuse, even if you are sure it is. They may try to play it down or they could defend their partner’s actions. All of these reactions are common from victims of abuse, so whatever you do, make sure to accept your friend, family member or colleague’s reaction and don’t pressure them into talking. Although you may be tempted to try and encourage them to speak or seek professional support, you may have to accept that they are not ready for that step.

If they are ready to talk and confide in you, it’s a good idea to be able to signpost to organisations that can offer professional support as well as offering a listening ear yourself, if you can.

For Black femmes experiencing any form of domestic abuse, including coercive control, we can offer free and confidential help and advice.